Journal Entry 5/22/10

This entry is an update on my detoxification progress, writing, and other subjects I find amusing.
I find sneezing to be amusing and quite joyful. That’s my big thought for the day. I took Allegra, Sudafed, Guaifenesin, and used nose spray to keep from sneezing. Not anymore, and my body naturally takes care of the allergens by forcing me to sneeze.
I know, childlike, but that’s how I deal with everything in life.
There have been some rough parts this week. Nights, sleeping or trying to sleep is elusive. The homeopathic doctor warned me this would be the problem area for the first thirty to ninety days.
I’ve upped my melatonin to 6 mg and my Xanax from 1 mg to 1.5 mg at bedtime. Last night I slept from 11-6, only woke up once at 4:00 for thirty minutes or so and then went back to sleep.
The neuropathy in my feet bothers me more at night than any other time of the day. I lie down and feel like my feet are on fire, and I can’t keep them still. This leads to no sleep, and then I’m grumpy or grumpier.
I could take Neurontin for the neuropathy. The discomfort is my cross to bear. Therefore, the Neurontin stays on the shelf until things change dramatically for the worse.
I read two paragraphs in “The Imitation of Christ” that helped me have faith that my decision not to use the Neurontin is correct. This little red book, filled with great wisdom, stays next to my bedside.
It is not the tendency of human beings to bear the cross and to love it, to flee honors and to put up with reproaches, to despise themselves and to wish others to despise them, to bear all opposition and losses and not to desire any prosperity in this world.
If you trust in yourself, you will never accomplish this; but if you put your trust in God, you will be given strength from heaven, and the world and the flesh will be made subject to your command. If you are armed with faith and marked with the cross of Christ, you will not fear your enemy, the devil; for he will have no power over you.
****
I’m still whining about my motorcycle. My son believes the person who owned the bike before me let it sit for a long time and this clogged the carburetor jets. I agree, because my son is always right.
Somewhere in the last few years, he’s taken charge of the family and my role is secondary. That’s okay with me, it reflects well on his mother and I.
I want to say, “Okay, just tell the guy to fix the thing, so I can ride!”
There is nothing like coming out of a corner, rolling on the throttle and feeling the rear wheel bite into the asphalt or cement. The rear of the bike grabs down, you feel the power, and a smile will break across your face. Then hitting a long open stretch, the wind, the sky, everything is in slow motion, and you feel the elements. Of course, rain sucks and will ruin a great riding day; I’m still like a child.
When the bike broke down, between three chicks stopping and asking if I needed help, I noticed birds, beautiful rolling hills, the grass, trees, flowers, even insects crawling on the ground. I found all of this amazing to watch and experience, God’s wonderful world right in front of me. In a car, I would have never noticed, but on the bike, I’m much more aware of nature.
I’m still laughing about the girls, what were they thinking? However, I know how non-threatening I appear.
When I took my motorcycle training class, two girls and eleven guys were present. Every break the two girls stood next to me. Somebody spilled that I was a doctor and the women quickly referred to me as doc. “Hey doc, come over here and join us for the break.”” That nickname beat the instructors calling me pops.
****
We’ve joined a health club, 24-hour fitness. I’ve gone twice, still waiting for my wife to attend. I’m not going there anymore, it just creates a negative field in my life, and only she can decide to change. I know she can’t make the kind of changes I made, but enough said on the subject.
A fitness trainer evaluated me the first day. Jeez, even after losing fifty pounds, I carry a lot of body fat.
I hate to exercise, just as I used to dislike running, until I start. The thought of going to the gym is nauseating. However, once I’m working out, I enjoy myself.
I discovered how weak and flabby my body has become in the last 15 years. I’ll just get after it, hitting the weights, cardiovascular and stretching. I’m sure my muse would find something I missed, but communication is off, and I miss her advice.
****
This week I’ll call social security and request a ticket to work. My first choice is to return to where I started in 1979, the classroom.
Working with young kids is my first love and one where God gave me liberal doses of talent. I’ve taught for years in private schools, but never in public. I passed my test to be an EC-4 Generalist in 2003, but nobody can tell me if the test results are still valid. The problem arises when you don’t receive a teaching contract, and I went to work for a church school in 2004 and dropped the opportunity to return to the public classroom.
My worst nightmare would be to return to childcare licensing as a regulator. Please God don’t do that to me. I worked for the state of Texas in 2003 and disliked much of the experience.
I contacted the TEA (Texas Education Agency) and asked about my test results, no response. I contacted the testing company, same thing, no response. My next step is to act like a child and pitch a fit. It usually works, but leaves me frustrated.
Why does it take somebody to start yelling before people will listen?
Enough rambling for one day, time to get back to editing Volume One of the Seger Chronicles, “God’s Songs”.
I’m returning to each story and placing tags to help the reader feel the story, tone of voice, body language, etc…..
I’m about a fourth of the way through the editing process, still looking for an agent of a publisher. I’m hesitant to pay somebody to publish the book.
I’ve pledged all the money from the book sales will go to charitable organizations, and I won’t take a penny. I didn’t write the stories; God’s hand stayed on my fingers, the glory belongs to Him.
In His Service,
Dan Lake, PhD

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